what is there to celebrate

Once upon a time I belonged, now not so much. I knew the changing of the guard would be difficult,  what I didn’t know is I would be left behind.

I remember a time church meant something to me,  it was safe, I was a part of something,  it was good.  Never did I think I would find myself alone and forgotten. Never did I think it would happen because of what I thought to be a friend.

I had learned the church was a body made of many parts working together, for what is the arm without a hand? But with all bodies there are parts that can be discarded and it will work just fine.  I am one of those parts that can be done without.  Once upon a time I felt such joy,  now I know I am disposable.

A few months back the pastor of the church moved on,  and his replacement I couldn’t have been happier about.  A childhood friend born for that sort of thing,  I was proud for him.  Unfortunately it was a bad time for me.  My daughter ran away,  the death of my uncle and 3 months of isolation was taking its toll. Surely I could call upon the church,  a little prayer could help. Even though my requests for prayer rarely make it to the list,  I just needed to be positive.  So, I tried to set sometime this childhood friend and I could talk and pray.  He told me he would call me back,  3 months later the call has never came.

I reminded him, let him know I was hurt,  nothing.  People in h he church assured he would be in touch, nothing.  It’s that time this weekend the church will get together and be thankful, I can’t say I’m thankful for much.

I’ve seen the church come tougher,  put roofs on houses,  feed the homeless, and all I can think about is winter coming and I have no heat,  seldom food,  and certainly not cot companionship or guidance, ,

So,  while you are celebrating and paying each other on the back,  realize I will be cold,  alone and hungry.  Remember that, I have lost faith and hope.  But most of it could have all been avoided be returning a call.

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